The Very Best One Star Reviews of James Comey’s Book: A Higher Loyalty

James Comey has a book out, if you have not heard. I am actually a pretty big book guy, however, I am boycotting the Comey book. No, not because of any political stance or Pro-Trump position.

But, frankly, I am boycotting the book because it was not titled “James and the Giantest Peach (‘Believe Me I am More Giant Than That Other Peach, Believe Me’)” which would have been a great title. Add in a mock up of the cover from the Roald Dahl classic where Comey is looking up at a giant peach with Trump’s face on it, and you have a literary masterpiece that rivals any Faulkner tour de force.

Others, however, are not boycotting the book. And, because Amazon has restricted reviews of this Title onlymostly to verified purchases through Amazon (which they should do for every book) you are likely getting genuine reviews.

I mean, who is paying 15 bucks just to leave a one star review? So, I decided to take a look (it’s in a book…a reading raaaainbow) at the one star reviews to get a sense of how the people were handling the release. Comments in bold below are from Amazon users. Regular text mine.

Self serving, salacious, boring.

Salaciously boring. You don’t see that kind of review every day. Is this guy reviewing A Higher Loyalty or General Hospital?

Also, self-serving? It is literally a book written by James Comey about things that James Comey was doing. Who should it have served? Hey, I’m going to write this book about me, but, it would be really cool if it served the interests of Mahatma Ghandi.

I did not order A Higher Loyalty, but it arrived in the mail today

This guy went on to lay out a conspiracy in which Amazon/Comey were sending the book out to folks, charging them, and then refunding them upon the books return.

So, uh, since the believability of that seems dire…are Trump supporters buying this book, so that they can later accuse Comey of shady tactics to increase book sales? I mean, that’s new levels of crazy, right?

Another FAKE BOOK, they think, if you say it over & over again, that somehow it will become the truth. What a joke, Thank GOD, for President Trump.

Look at this guy, trying to make a star out of himself. Typed up this review. Walked away so happy with himself able to flip fake news to fake book. Like a pro.

A good book

This is my favorite. He one star reviewed “a good book.” I  absolutely took a deep dive into this users other reviews. A pair of Beats from 2012 got one star as well. Were they “good beats”? No. They were “Bad, Bad, and Bad. DON’T BUY!”

This one might actually be Trump.

All lies!!

This one, unfortunately, was one of the few reviews that got through before the verified purchase became necessary. Did this guy spend hours reading the book and meticulously fact checking ALL of the book? Or did he never purchase this book and used the power of graceful anonymity in an attempt to skew the numbers?

We will never know. A shame.

It reads like a high school rough draft.

This was actually from a 3-star review. Dude, you can be a little more strict with the stars. A high school rough draft should not be a bestseller, even if it is from a guy embroiled in a feud with our President of a high school temperament.

The tail end of the book deals with Comey’s limited interactions with Trump but most of that I’d already read or heard in the media so I found nothing particularly revealing there.

This review was also 3-star’s and really, was only notable because I clicked on his profile and noted that the last thing he reviewed was a packet of swedish fish he ordered…

…and gave 4 stars.

Wow. Interesting read. Was worried about reading it with all of the controversy. I wasn’t impressed at all. Never again

Back to the 1-star reviews. Never again to what part? Reading a book with controversy surrounding it? Reading a book? Reading an interesting book? Never going to be not impressed again? Spoiler Alert…someone will come through and not impress you. Constantly.

As far as some of the other content in the book goes. Are we supposed to believe Comey is totally apolitical when his wife said she was “devastated” when Clinton lost and his wife and daughters participated in the woman’s march. About 2% of the nations woman participated in the woman’s march, only the most hardcore progressives and Trump haters. So Comey’s family are hardcore liberals and Trump haters but he’s apolitical and totally unbiased. Sure.

I mean, if you want to make a point about how it is hard to believe that Comey is apolitical, it likely would be a better move to start by talking about some things that Comey did were political. From this review, I’ve learned that his wife and daughters might be very political. Wild.

should be in the fiction area

This one seems like it has nothing to it. It is indeed a non-verified purchaser review. But the best part about it? He ticked off that this was a review based on the audio book. So even a fake review this guy was like, “nah, I’m not going to actually bother with reading.”

If it gets better, I might be inclined to revise my review. I bought this book in hopes of trying to get a glimpse into current events. However, after 5 chapters, and reading about his childhood and bullying episodes, Sammy Gravano and the mob, and Martha Stewart–there doesnt seem to be any sign of his recent experiences.

Yeah, you know what kid, you’re probably right. It does seem like a good bet that a guy that is only in the spotlight and thus in the book contract game for his recent experiences would just completely leave out his recent experiences. Just a whole book of Martha Stewart. You’re absolutely right, good thing you clicked post instead of flipping ahead a couple of chapters.

Sidenote…stalked this persons other reviews and they gave a 5-star review to a CLEMENTINE TREE. What?! After shaking off my amazement that you can buy those on Amazon, I was a bit disappointed their review did not read: “I bought this clementine tree in hopes of growing and eating clementines. I watered it on day 1 and day 2, but, it did not yield any clementines. There doesn’t seem to be any sign of clementines.”

I blame Comey for this Abomination

Congratulations for blaming the book on the guy who wrote the book.

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