Oliver North’s NRA Initiatives Memo

We here at Slippery Jim Comey were able to get an advance copy of new NRA President Oliver North’s Initiatives Memo. The Memo outlines the vision that Oliver North has for the Organization. North is off to a fast start at the NRA, already labeling activists from Parkland as “civil terrorists”. How did we get this memo? Probably the same way Michael Avenatti keeps coming up with the Michael Cohen goods on Twitter. But, we don’t know how he’s doing that, so, we are kind of at a loss for how this turned up:

Dear Enthusiasts,

I am pleased to hear so many positive responses already to my comments about the real terrorists: those whose friends have died at the hands of gun violence. These are trying times, and, we must stick together. The gun is the tie that binds us, but, we are more than just gun owners. My desire as President of this organization is to continue the things we are good at: scaring people into belief that there is a culture war unfolding and that we all need guns to protect ourselves from those in the inner city. While also building on those qualities.

Thus, I write to you all today to unveil my plan to see us forward.

First, I believe strongly in the narrative argument. Gun Stories. A short web docu-series running about 5-10 minutes in length for each gun story. Sometimes, we forget that Guns have feelings too. These stories must be told. Each Gun Owner featured in the series will sit to tell the tale of their Gun. What it has been through, both through the eyes of the owner, and the people most influenced by the gun. Whether that be a child inspired by the gun, whether it be the hours you spent shining the gun, whether it be the man you unnecessarily shot with the gun thinking that he was scoping out a robbery of your vehicle because he happened to walk past it while also being a black man. These are the stories we need to tell. Liberals tend to only view the Gun through the lens of the killing machine. But, we all know that the Gun represents a lot more than that. Attaching a name, and even a face, so to speak, to each Gun will allow us to humanize the story.

Second, Gun confiscation. Hear me out. There’s nothing that sells guns faster than when we talk about how they are coming to take our Guns. At some point, society will wake up and realize that no one is coming to take our guns, they are only trying to limit them with AIRQUOTES-sensible-END-AIRQUOTES gun control measures. Through select action of gun confiscation in Chicago places where there are less trustworthy gun owners, we will show people that indeed, the MAN is coming to take our guns.

Third, through the Gun Confiscation program, we can then turn and create a Gun Supply program. Arming those who we believe should be armed, and doing so at a young age. I saw a program, a YouTube Documentary series, recently, on some young high school kids taking part in a Karate program. Cobra Kai they called themselves. Imagine if instead of Karate – they fought others with firearms? And, arming these young people that society often refers to as “bullies” will allow us to take on the Social Justice Warriors, and establish a new generation of Gun Rights Activists. We take in the arms through confiscation, and supply them to these outcasts in our schools to protect us against the tyranny of the Parkland students that are inspiring a generation.

Thank You for Your Support,


Oliver North

Lt. Colonel



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