President Trump Needs More Friends

President Trump launched a barrage of Tweets starting Saturday Afternoon*. The goal: to pout about “spying” on him and to get an investigation to investigate the investigation…and he was somehow successful! This will ultimately lead to Trump talking about how this new investigation is corrupt and he needs an investigation to investigate the investigation that is investigating the investigation.

And, he’ll get it.

Because, no one tells this guy no for some ridiculous reason. Sure, if you tell him no he’s gonna mock you mercilessly and give you an embarrassing nickname, threaten to fire you even if he doesn’t have that power, and then maybe suggest the Russians should hack you, but, then shout NO COLLUSION when the Russians do hack you. Ok, I can see why folks don’t want to put up with that.

*Immediately after Trump was returned his phone from a time-out where he was not allowed to Tweet during the Royal Wedding. Trump was saddened that he did not get to note that none of the hats worn at the Wedding were nearly as stylish as ol’ Red MAGA.

Trump spent 24 hours making this happening by somehow convincing Conservative media that the FBI was out to throw the election to Hillary Clinton. If you need a refresher, Comey sent a letter to Congress on October 28th, 2016 saying that the investigation into Clinton was re-opened. Publicly calling into doubt the status of Clinton mere days before the election. This after the FBI had already done a very public investigation of Clinton that led to MANY chants of “Lock Her Up” by degenerates.

BUT, to Trump folks, they somehow think what? That a confidential informant investigating dudes related to Trump that was not revealed until, well, now, tipped the election in Hillary’s favor? What?

That is bizarre. But, that’s the brainchild of Trump, who sits in a big house, all alone and when his only friend is Sean Hannity and Hannity doesn’t want to talk until bed-time, the man has a lot of time on his hands to concoct crazy theories.

Now, I’m not criticizing the man for a lack of friends. Honestly, this weekend I made it through the entire Fourth Season of Bosch on Amazon Prime this weekend before having a conversation with any human other than those involved with handing me food. So, no judgment on his lack of friends. But, man, find something better to do with your time.

Some good news for Trump, if Rudy Giuliani is to be believed (and, he isn’t), as apparently Mueller wants this investigation wrapped up by September. What does that mean? Now, I don’t want to get into the prediction business…this is a humor website afterall, and even though I am the rant-writer around here and not so much the joke-guy, predictions are not our racket. That being said, I think if this info is true, it likely means that Mueller knows this investigation is not going to end with an indictment of Trump himself. There will likely be a flurry of targets indicted, more guilty pleas, and plenty of bank shenanigans, but, if the Mueller Investigation is looking to get wrapped up before the mid-term elections, that means Trump is relatively safe, right?

That’s unfortunate for those rooting very hard for Mueller to catch the Big Game in Trump, but ultimately, the Mueller Investigation has still proven fruitful. Anyone at this point arguing that the Mueller Investigation has been a waste of time are literally arguing that the people who have already pled guilty as a result of the Mueller Investigation should have been allowed to get away with their crimes.

Which, I don’t know, seems like a loser of an argument unless we want to forever brand Trump supporters as soft on crime.

I wonder if they’d like that label? Probably not.

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