According to a letter sent by Trump to North Korea, the big summit meeting in Singapore is cancelled. This is not a surprise since North Korea is the nation-state equivalent of Wild-Card Charlie from Always Sunny.
Now I have to admit that I believed when this was originally announced that it was the perfect time for Kim Jong Un to cut a deal because he HAD nukes but knows (he has to know) that the world at large won’t let him keep them for more than 10 or 20 years, tops. He had the most leverage he was ever going to have. But then he got flakey and Trump called off the trip because he knew it would fail because of (he said) the:
“tremendous anger and open hostility displayed in your most recent statement.”
I guess if that is how we measure whether or not to meet with people, this is going to come back up as a problem.
So I am not sure where we go from here. I live on the East Coast so I am not super worried about getting nuked. But all my phones and TV’s are Samsung so I need Nice Korea to be safe. So here is what I propose:
- We cut a deal with Un (Kim? Which name is which?) where he ditches his nukes in exchange for a HUGE payout.
- The catch is that North Korea becomes a real life Escape from New York situation but for the whole world instead of just the US.
- We send our terrible criminals to North Korea but we pay NK, I dunno, $500 bucks a day per person as long as their little life bracelet is still working.
- Added bonus, TRUMP GETS A WALL!
And if he wants to double his money per person, he can give us a North Korean foster kid in exchange for some murderer. So eventually we will get all the kids out and all that will be left is a giant army of the world’s most dangerous criminals….and the worlds they have made.
I will leave the details to the Deep State bureaucrats but I think the overall logic is sound. I assume I will get money for this?