Prison Mike Stops By The Office To Explain “Spy-Gate”

Everyday is an experience around the Slippery Jim Comey offices and today we were honored by an absolutely special guest. A man who really needs no introduction if you work for the US Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of New York. We wanted to wrap our heads around this Donald Trump Spy-Gate allegation and so we thought, what better way than to have our new Justice Correspondent Prison Mike C break things down for us. 

Welcome

PrisonMikeSmallHey, thanks for having me!

You seem excited! So, let’s get this going before you remember how dire and bleak your situation currently appears.

PrisonMikeSmallMY SITUATION IS ONLY DIRE AND BLEAK TO THE HATERS.

Alright, yeah, calm down, now, we were talking before…And, we thought you could have some good insight into this whole ordeal with the FBI, the Trump Campaign and an informant.

PrisonMikeSmallA SPY

So, we decided to bring you in as our Justice Correspondent. Let’s kind of take this one step at a time. Now, you are a lawyer…

PrisonMikeSmallAllegedly.

Right, allegedly, are you sure you want to say allegedly in this instance? Actually, don’t answer that, I think we are good on the particulars. Now, you have a background in…well, you’re not in Prison yet, so, I don’t really know if I get the character.

Continue reading “Prison Mike Stops By The Office To Explain “Spy-Gate””

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Donald Trump Pulls a Judge Dredd and Convicts Democrats of Spying In Less Than 72 Hours…

On Sunday, President Donald Trump demanded an investigation into “spying” on his Presidential Campaign. On Wednesday morning, Donald Trump tweeted this bad boy:

So, there you have it folks, the “Criminal Deep State” just mere days after he primed this investigation based on nothing, our boy concluded, yes, guilty. The punishment for Democrats that are part of this “Criminal Deep State” is that they have to listen to Trump refer to them as criminals LONG after they are ultimately cleared of any wrong doing. Which, honestly, maybe some of them would prefer a Prison sentence?

Where do you begin with this?

Continue reading “Donald Trump Pulls a Judge Dredd and Convicts Democrats of Spying In Less Than 72 Hours…”

I Had No Idea Rudy Giuiliani Was An Attorney. Now, I Know Why

Rudy Giuliani prosecuted pivotal cases against the American Mafia. I learned that today when I typed ‘Rudy Giuliani’ into Wikipedia as I was astonished that a.) Rudy was an attorney; and b.) He is (was?) on the Trump legal team.

Last night and today, he resumed his role as Prosecutor, leading a man, Donald J. Trump, straight into a trap that will inevitably result in a Guilty Plea of some kind. Although, someone should likely inform him that defense attorneys usually don’t want to do that sort of thing. I mean, at least not until their client is charged with a crime.

Giuliani went on Sean Hannity last night, and this morning to Fox & Friends. The words that rolled off of his lips can best be described as, “unable to keep up.”

To Review: The President’s previous position, possibly on the advice of his prior legal team or possibly on the advice of his own being a loose cannon nature, had not admitted to knowing about hush money, through Michael Cohen, to Stormy Daniels during the Election.

The New Stategy:

  1. Rudy forces Trump to admit knowledge of payment on Twitter. Confirming a lie.
  2. Rudy compounds the issue by going on Fox & Friends and saying specifically that you would not want something like this to come out during the election. Could hurt if you eventually have a John Edwards-esque criminal charge down the line for using campaign funds to cover up affairs.
  3. Rudy conducts an interview with the Washington Post where he alludes “a few other situations” where payments were made.

This is a bold strategy. They went from “let the government prove a crime they don’t have evidence of” to “here’s a bunch of evidence” overnight.

Honestly, I think Trump is going to regret that moment when all of the White House staffers walked into his office, laid their suit jackets on Trump’s desk, and stated that Rudy could suit up in their place.

Did Trump Leak a Fake Set of Mueller Investigation Questions to Undermine the Mueller Investigation?

What a guy, if true. It’s one of those moves that you never see coming, but, then when you look back on it you say, “well, it’s juvenile, but, it just might work.”

Michael Zeldin, a CNN legal analyst and former assistant to Robert Mueller, said Tuesday he believes President Trump leaked the list of nearly 50 questions the special counsel allegedly wants to ask Trump.

“I think these are notes taken by the recipients of a conversation with Mueller’s office where he outlined broad topics and these guys wrote down questions that they thought these topics may raise,” Zeldin said

Source: TheHill via CNN

He went on to add: “lawyers wouldn’t write questions this way, in my estimation. Some of the grammar is not even proper.”

You know whose specialty “not even proper” grammar is? EVERYONE IN THE TRUMP ORGANIZATION. This is a humor blog, so, I’m working very hard right now to stick to jokes about this matter, but, I will expand on why I believe the theory in the comments.

What a move, though. Trump is laying groundwork for either firing Mueller for leaks, or, simply to undermine the strength of the investigation. Is it believable? Well, this is the same Trump that began his career by trading favors and gossip with all sorts of publications in New York City, so, you tell me.