Prison Mike Stops By The Office To Explain “Spy-Gate”

Everyday is an experience around the Slippery Jim Comey offices and today we were honored by an absolutely special guest. A man who really needs no introduction if you work for the US Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of New York. We wanted to wrap our heads around this Donald Trump Spy-Gate allegation and so we thought, what better way than to have our new Justice Correspondent Prison Mike C break things down for us.¬†

Welcome

PrisonMikeSmallHey, thanks for having me!

You seem excited! So, let’s get this going before you remember how dire and bleak your situation currently appears.

PrisonMikeSmallMY SITUATION IS ONLY DIRE AND BLEAK TO THE HATERS.

Alright, yeah, calm down, now, we were talking before…And, we thought you could have some good insight into this whole ordeal with the FBI, the Trump Campaign and an informant.

PrisonMikeSmallA SPY

So, we decided to bring you in as our Justice Correspondent. Let’s kind of take this one step at a time. Now, you are a lawyer…

PrisonMikeSmallAllegedly.

Right, allegedly, are you sure you want to say allegedly in this instance? Actually, don’t answer that, I think we are good on the particulars. Now, you have a background in…well, you’re not in Prison yet, so, I don’t really know if I get the character.

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President Trump Needs More Friends

President Trump launched a barrage of Tweets starting Saturday Afternoon*. The goal: to pout about “spying” on him and to get an investigation to investigate the investigation…and he was somehow successful! This will ultimately lead to Trump talking about how this new investigation is corrupt and he needs an investigation to investigate the investigation that is investigating the investigation.

And, he’ll get it.

Because, no one tells this guy no for some ridiculous reason. Sure, if you tell him no he’s gonna mock you mercilessly and give you an embarrassing nickname, threaten to fire you even if he doesn’t have that power, and then maybe suggest the Russians should hack you, but, then shout NO COLLUSION when the Russians¬†do hack you. Ok, I can see why folks don’t want to put up with that.

*Immediately after Trump was returned his phone from a time-out where he was not allowed to Tweet during the Royal Wedding. Trump was saddened that he did not get to note that none of the hats worn at the Wedding were nearly as stylish as ol’ Red MAGA.

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