What Would Happen If Donald Trump DID Shoot James Comey?

Donald Trump once said, “I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose voters.” Rudy Giuliani this weekend said, “If he shot James Comey, he’d be impeached the next day.” Sure seems like a metaphor those guys kick around all the time. But, it makes you think…what IF Donald Trump DID happen to shoot James Comey. We take you live…to CNN…

Don Lemon: Interesting day in Washington today. We are going to take you right now to a clip from the White House Press Briefing Room. Just a moment ago.

Jim Acosta: Why did President Trump shoot James Comey?

Sarah Huckabee Sanders: We can not at this time confirm that President Trump shot James Comey.

Acosta: There is a video that has already been played over and over that shows President Trump shooting James Comey.

Sanders: This is a tiring line of questions, Jim, and we are going to end the questions with that since you folks can not control yourselves. I will say this, however, President Trump is an honorable man. If he shot James Comey, then the question that you all refuse to ask, but should ask, is what did James Comey do to deserve getting shot? Will you ask that Jim?

Acosta: What did James Comey do to deserve to get shot?

Sanders: Who shot James Comey? This is the first I am hearing of it.

Cut back to Don Lemon in the Studio.

Don Lemon: So, certainly a night that may go down in American history, but, also, a night that we may forget about in a few days because of all the other crazy things that will certainly happen. We have our panel with us to speak about this matter. Let me introduce you guys.

CNNPanel

LemonSmall

Lemon: First, we have Rick Santorum. All around stand up guy who has never had crazy opinions that have made us say, “why the hell do people give him the time of day to talk about the issues”. Next, he is an American Singer-Songwriter, guitarist and activist: Ted Nugent. Then, from being a Judge, we have Judge Reinhold. Next, we have a pair of lawyers who have both represented Donald Trump: Rudy Giuliani and Michael Cohen.

PrisonMikeSmall

Michael Cohen: That’s Prison Mike, Officially.

LemonSmall

Excuse me?

RudySmall

Giuliani: Oh, geez, it’s a silly little bit the guy does. He puts on a bandana and colors in a couple prison tattoos and thinks he is a badass.

PrisonMikeSmall

AM a badass.

LemonSmall

Ok, Prison Mike, Welcome to the panel.

PrisonMikeSmall

yo ok happy to be here. I would like my fee to be paid in a timely manner, or I’ll be back around with the baseball bat, capiche?

Continue reading “What Would Happen If Donald Trump DID Shoot James Comey?”

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Prison Mike Stops By The Office To Explain “Spy-Gate”

Everyday is an experience around the Slippery Jim Comey offices and today we were honored by an absolutely special guest. A man who really needs no introduction if you work for the US Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of New York. We wanted to wrap our heads around this Donald Trump Spy-Gate allegation and so we thought, what better way than to have our new Justice Correspondent Prison Mike C break things down for us. 

Welcome

PrisonMikeSmallHey, thanks for having me!

You seem excited! So, let’s get this going before you remember how dire and bleak your situation currently appears.

PrisonMikeSmallMY SITUATION IS ONLY DIRE AND BLEAK TO THE HATERS.

Alright, yeah, calm down, now, we were talking before…And, we thought you could have some good insight into this whole ordeal with the FBI, the Trump Campaign and an informant.

PrisonMikeSmallA SPY

So, we decided to bring you in as our Justice Correspondent. Let’s kind of take this one step at a time. Now, you are a lawyer…

PrisonMikeSmallAllegedly.

Right, allegedly, are you sure you want to say allegedly in this instance? Actually, don’t answer that, I think we are good on the particulars. Now, you have a background in…well, you’re not in Prison yet, so, I don’t really know if I get the character.

Continue reading “Prison Mike Stops By The Office To Explain “Spy-Gate””

Let’s Talk About the REAL Bribery Scandal…Enter, Ice Cube and the Qatari Government

By now, everyone knows the “fake news” about how AT&T and a bunch of other companies shelled out too much money to Michael Cohen for “Essential” consulting regarding his boy Donald Trump. Clearly, since no business would pay 500k-1.2million for insight into Donald Trump, when they could just have a kid sit at his desk watching old Celebrity Apprentice episodes and bang out a memo, we know that something shady was going on here. A little something known as “bribery” and let’s be honest, a Trump bribery story is very much in the category of “who cares.”

I mean, bribery is the one thing we would all expect Trump to be good at.

But, a bribery store involving Ice Cube, Steve Bannon, Cube’s terrible basketball league, and the Qatari Government? I need that straight to my veins.

Here’s the Headline from the Daily Mail UK:

EXCLUSIVE: Steve Bannon was target of bribery plot by top Qatari who invested in Ice Cube’s basketball league to get to Trump’s strategist and boasted ‘Mike Flynn took our money’, rapper claims in court

Continue reading “Let’s Talk About the REAL Bribery Scandal…Enter, Ice Cube and the Qatari Government”

How to Properly Gamble On Whether Michael Cohen Will Turn State’s Evidence

Michael Cohen, fixer to the stars of birther fantasy and alleged attorney, is looking up at a world of hurt at the hands of Robert Mueller and the United States Attorney for the Southern District of New York (I believe that would be Paul Giamatti).

Wikipedia describes this pain thusly: “under investigation by federal prosecutors into multiple matters, including bank fraudwire fraud and campaign finance violations, relating in part to payments made to Stormy Daniels.”

They even cite to multiple sources… which is wikipedia code for “Cohen is cooked.”

All of this led to Mr. No Collusion to Tweet over the weekend that he does not see Cohen flipping. Trump seemingly admitting to there being something for Cohen to flip on Trump about.

Trump has faith in his boy, should he? We talked to our resident bookie about this issue and asked a few pointed questions about the issue. Click Read More, take a look, then you’ll want to call up your bookie to get in on this action.

Continue reading “How to Properly Gamble On Whether Michael Cohen Will Turn State’s Evidence”