Donald Trump Pulls a Judge Dredd and Convicts Democrats of Spying In Less Than 72 Hours…

On Sunday, President Donald Trump demanded an investigation into “spying” on his Presidential Campaign. On Wednesday morning, Donald Trump tweeted this bad boy:

So, there you have it folks, the “Criminal Deep State” just mere days after he primed this investigation based on nothing, our boy concluded, yes, guilty. The punishment for Democrats that are part of this “Criminal Deep State” is that they have to listen to Trump refer to them as criminals LONG after they are ultimately cleared of any wrong doing. Which, honestly, maybe some of them would prefer a Prison sentence?

Where do you begin with this?

Continue reading “Donald Trump Pulls a Judge Dredd and Convicts Democrats of Spying In Less Than 72 Hours…”

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Giuliani Continues to Struggle

Rudy Giuliani is continuing his bad month. He stepped onto the Hannity program last night and pouted about how Trump can not get a fair hearing.

“The president has a great desire to come forward and tell the truth if he gets a fair hearing,” Giuliani said. “Our job is to make sure that he gets a fair hearing from Mueller. Now, we’re not convinced that he will.”

Source: FOX News

To be clear, Trump has NOT been charged with any crimes right now, so Giuliani may have got himself confused again. So, the “fair” hearing would be a trial. You know, not something that Trump’s counsel should be out here openly rooting for, right? But, then again, Rudy also alleged that Trump could not get indicted or subpoenaed? So, clearly, he has moved on from the “I don’t know the facts” portion of his defense into the “let me try to confuse the public on what the law is” moment.

In other Giuliani news, the NY Daily News reported that the man and 2 of his staffers opened the door on his rickshaw and smashed a pedicab driver. Unfortunately, I have not seen video.

Also, this:

Rudy is getting paid purely in Fox News appearances. And, it still feels like a bit too much.

Rudy Guiliani Thinks Other Lawyers Should be as Uninformed on the Facts as He Is: Wants Mueller Investigation Closed

Rudy Guiliani is a superstar. That is why he has come aboard the Trump Train as a hand-selected “tv lawyer” despite all evidence showing that he’s not much of a capable lawyer. He has spent pretty much the entirety of his time as Trump’s Attorney either making dumb remarks about the case in public, OR, publicly walking back those dumb remarks by claiming that he wasn’t yet too familiar with the “facts” of the case.

And, yet, somehow, he has the gall to pout about the length of the Investigation.

“Come on! They’ve had a whole year,” Giuliani told Politico in a recent interview, referring to the Thursday anniversary of the probe. “We’re going to raise the pressure to try to get this thing over with. It’s gone on long enough.”

Source: Vanity Fair

Rudy Guiliani, the man who admittedly does not know a damn thing about the facts of this particular case believes that it should be done.

Here’s the thing about our boy Rudy. He seems terrible about keeping his thoughts to himself. And, what does this particular thought tell you? He wants to raise the pressure, in public, on Mueller, so that Mueller rushes things, gets sloppy and makes a mistake. I don’t know much about Bob Mueller, but, I do know that he has had this investigation going on for a year, he seems patient. So, I’m not so sure that this “I’m worried my client is guilty so let me try to speed things up” move by Guiliani will pay off.

I mean, there’s a lot of material to work through. You have a guy in Michael Cohen who worked very hard to either participate in bribery or give off the image of a man who participated in bribery. Those type of things don’t just wrap themselves up overnight…

 

Is Threatening the Mueller Team a Good Look For Trump?

How did you start your Monday morning? Did you wake up and forego a cup of coffee or a light workout to instead threaten the people who are currently investigating you and your possibly criminal activities?

Likely you did not. You likely lead a quiet, peaceful, staid existence. And, that’s ok. Fortunately, we have the President, who lives on the goddamn edge. He woke up this morning and thought, nah, forget, I’m on this:

This guy is a good time. This translates essentially to: “if you take me to Court you don’t want to see the dirt that I’m going to come up on you guys, I mean, if my staff hired an Israeli spy team to discredit Obama staffers on the Iran Deal, just imagine what I’ll do if my freedom is on the line.” Loose translation. But, you get the idea. Trump is signaling as clear as he possibly can that they should tread light. It’s a very top of the food chain gangster move.

Usually, Prosecutors don’t bow down to that kind of pressure, they dig in. I am excited to see how it plays out for our boy.

He also tweeted: “There is no O, it’s called Fighting Back” to which a whole bunch of dudes who fought with the police and are stuck in jail nodded: hell yeah.

Did Trump Leak a Fake Set of Mueller Investigation Questions to Undermine the Mueller Investigation?

What a guy, if true. It’s one of those moves that you never see coming, but, then when you look back on it you say, “well, it’s juvenile, but, it just might work.”

Michael Zeldin, a CNN legal analyst and former assistant to Robert Mueller, said Tuesday he believes President Trump leaked the list of nearly 50 questions the special counsel allegedly wants to ask Trump.

“I think these are notes taken by the recipients of a conversation with Mueller’s office where he outlined broad topics and these guys wrote down questions that they thought these topics may raise,” Zeldin said

Source: TheHill via CNN

He went on to add: “lawyers wouldn’t write questions this way, in my estimation. Some of the grammar is not even proper.”

You know whose specialty “not even proper” grammar is? EVERYONE IN THE TRUMP ORGANIZATION. This is a humor blog, so, I’m working very hard right now to stick to jokes about this matter, but, I will expand on why I believe the theory in the comments.

What a move, though. Trump is laying groundwork for either firing Mueller for leaks, or, simply to undermine the strength of the investigation. Is it believable? Well, this is the same Trump that began his career by trading favors and gossip with all sorts of publications in New York City, so, you tell me.

I Hate To Be The One to Ask, But, How Much Time Does Trump Need to Make a Pee Tape?

This is a headline on nymag.com: “Trump Told Comey He Wasn’t in Moscow Long Enough to Make a Pee Tape. He Lied.”

It begs the question: why didn’t Trump tell Comey “I didn’t make a Pee Tape in Moscow”?

From this nymag article, a couple revelations that came from our namesake, Comey:

  1. Trump denied the Pee Tape in large part because he did not stay overnight at the Hotel while in Moscow this particular time.
  2. Trump was worried and bothered about the possibility of his wife thinking there was even a “one percent” chance the Tape was true.

Last point first – everyone, including Melania believes there is a greater than one percent chance that this whole Pee Tape thing is true, right? I mean, I put myself around 23.6% which nestles me firmly into “Pee Tape Skeptic” territory. But, regardless, there’s not a chance that Melania is sitting at one percent on this one. She was probably fifty-fifty before the Dossier story even leaked.

Now, back to this first point…the article says that obtained flight information by Bloomberg have Trump staying overnight that led nymag to this conclusion: “Trump absolutely had enough time for a golden showers performance if he had wanted to have one.” Their analysis, not mine.

But, does any of this even matter? I mean, flight to catch or not, is Trump seriously basing his denial on whether he came back to the Hotel at night before catching a flight the next day? Look, I’m certainly not trying to kink-shame here, but, if the man is making a Pee Tape with Russian hookers, I don’t think it’s going out on a limb to say that there’s a likely willingness to partake at any hour of the day. Once you’re telling a Russian Hooker, “pee on this bed” are you really only up for that activity at night?

But, on the bright side, at least journalists were able to track down a statement by Trump and verify it to be a lie. Sheesh, I wonder if that happens often?